Say No. If you are bent on sacrificing, do it for a worthy cause!
It was a beautiful day for a marathon. My fitness center had organized a mini marathon and asked us all to participate. There was this guy in my training group who used to run regularly. I was on and off and ran around 3–4 half marathons in a year.
The tryst
Before we started, we sort of agreed that we will give each other company. He mentioned that he is going to average around 5 minute per kilometer. This suited me as well and i would be doing my 10k within an hour.
We started running. We had a good start. We adopted a 4 minutes+ pace and kept going. very soon, we left the crowd behind. Near the 3 kilometres mark, my partner started slowing down.
I started slowing down as well. It was like, we will catch up very soon.
Two runners overtook us.
End of kilometer 6, we were constantly slowing down. we were down to 6+ minutes per kilometer now. At this rate, we will not be able to get a sub 1 hour 10k finish.
Three more runners overtook us.
I started going a little ahead and exhorted him to speed up. I was getting impatient and had plenty of strength and stamina to make it among the top. Yet, here i was waiting for someone to catchup who did not seem to be in the mood to do so. I remembered that only the podium finishers were awarded publicly. I told him this, and he was like, yes..yes we will catch up.
I could see that this wasn’t going to happen. The last three runners who overtook us had nearly a kilometre’s lead and with just 3 kilometres to go for the finish, we would end up nowhere near the podium!
It is never too late!
I saw one of the trailing runners ahead and decided to go ahead and give it a shot. I called out to my colleague one last time and then sprinted off. Within 400 meters, i caught up with the runner position #5. I was now 5th and had less than 2 kilometers to go for the finish.
I started sprinting real hard. Saw runner #4 at a curve near kilometre 9. overtook him as well. Less than 900 meters to go. With 400 meters remaining, as i turned into the homestretch i saw runner #3.
I was already panting and breathing heavily, but still decided to give it my all.
Wheezing and panting heavily, i overtook #3 with just 100 meters to go. It was as if my lungs were operating at more than maximum capacity and they could burst at any moment! Made it across the finish line with a feeling that was no less than winning the first place!
Collected my 3rd position medal with pride!
After the euphoria settled, i had this thought.
If i had stuck to running independently, i would have definitely finished at a higher podium position. It isn’t about the position, rather about bettering my performance with grace. I was capable, i had the motivation. so , why not give it my best?
Why did i delay in leaving my colleague? — Unnecessary guilt.
What will he think of me? Am i doing wrong by letting him go in the middle?Am i favouring a good finish over friendship? These were the Bull***t excuses and thoughts that were actually holding me back. Once i decided to leave, there were no further emotional strings to hold me back. My colleague, was in fact, was as excited as i was on my finish and remarked — ‘good that you took off and sprinted to the finish! i will try better to catch up with you next time!’
Questioning the beliefs
The mind conjures up these unnecessary beliefs and reasons. It wasn’t as if he was limping and he needed my help to cross the line. I would have done that gladly if it were the case.
It is crazy when you realize. When i was a kid, it were my make believe stories around He-Man, G.I.Joes, Infantry and Hot Wheels that helped me grow and learn a lot about technology and games. I used to concoct story after story, adventure after adventure to while away afternoons and to thrill audiences (whoever attended the ‘special screenings’)!
It was the same ‘action first, ponder next’ mind that had be to in extracurricular activities such as Cricket, Drama, Scouts and Dumb Charade at State and Country levels. It was the same mind that made me take quick decisions to ensure a great graduate and post-graduate education.
Why the difference today?
Today, why do i have to fight unnecessary battles with myself to tell-off boorish clients, free-loading colleagues, opportunistic relatives and self-centered ‘friends’?
The answer then hit me hard.
In my journey of late, I had started saying No to myself more than i was telling No to others.
This wasn’t about trying to be likable, for favours or from a fear of missing out (FOMO). It was about being too emotional. I guess this is what love does to you! Your empathy levels skyrocket and you place the heart before the brain in decision making. It is not a wrong thing — but it can have repercussions that will prevent you from being the best version of yourself. And that is wrong.
More often that not, our emotions take a free ride attributing more sentiments and care to people and situations more than what is actually needed. You can always be around to help people, but you need not babysit them! If anyone approaches with a valid request for help, but do not go out of the way to give them your ‘perceived help’ that they may or may not even realise and value!
- Say Yes to what makes you live.
- Say No to needless Emotions and Toxic relationships.
- Say Yes to Actions and No to over-thinking.
Have an amazing life.
Let the person you become be the best version you could be.